Dec 2, 2006 When the end nears, don't hold back the truth
I REFER to the article, 'When the end nears, to tell or not to tell?' (ST, Nov 27), regarding telling loved ones about their terminal condition.
Having lost my mother to cancer last month, I faced the same dilemma and have come to my own conclusions.
We do not have the right to rob the time of our dying loved ones by withholding the truth from them. Nor do we have the right to judge if they have the strength to withstand the truth, when it is perhaps us who are not able to come to terms with their impending departure.
I suppose our reservation stems from this uncertainty: would telling the truth motivate our loved ones to fight for survival, or would it simply make them give up?
In our fear of letting them go, we selfishly assume that the fight for survival is necessary, sometimes at the expense of their prolonged suffering.
Should they choose to let go in the face of the truth, is it not a manifestation of strength and courage?
Ultimately, the choice is not ours to make.
Love rejoices in the truth. Honesty is the best teacher and gift of love during such trials.
Denise Chng Lisan (Ms)
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