When I first came back to Singapore after my camino, someone asked me, "Are you back to reality?"
That question took me four months ponder over. What is reality, I asked myself.
I came back to my 'real' life after the camino. And I realized that the reality that many people imply is one that is filled with fear, insecurity, doubt and inertia for change. Not knowing what is out there is like walking in darkness. Why take risks when we have found a spot for ourselves? Even when we feel restricted in the spot?
Reality, as I experienced on the camino, is a relationship with myself and a relationship with the force of the Universe. God is always with me. I feel his presence all around me - pure and penetrating. I started the journey alone, and I felt his invisible hand guiding me all the way. Someone aptly wrote in a book, "I don't know where I am going, but I feel completely guided." I feel that way coming out of my journey.
I've been given the strength to create the kind of life I want, on my own terms. So now, what is real to me is not to lose that sense of reality - that faith & strength that I've found.
Someone said that following God's will is like walking in darkness with the headlights on - but you could only see a few steps ahead of you. You can only rely of faith as you don't know what lies much further ahead. So one must imagine the me who grew up on templates, prepared notes, ten-year-series answers must feel terrified of such vast vagueness, vast unknown.
It's not an easy path...but a struggle everyday. I must learn to trust the 'reality' within me. My thoughts, my emotions, and the quest of my soul. In the crowded busy world, where judgement and opinions are abundant, we often find ourselves lost in the reality of others.
What we must do is to constantly take the time and space to find back the true center back to ourselves - the true center in our hearts.
Posts
0 Response to 'Back to Reality?'